So It's a Two Party System?

It's time to vote again. Time to exercise our constitutional right to elect our government officials, the people representing us for the years to come. Problem is...I'm not sure any of them actually "represent" me. As a conservative I have a set of core values that I vote for. Smaller government, fewer taxes...just to name a couple. Traditionally these conservative stances have been lobbied for by Republicans, but as of late it seems as though both parties have given up on them. The Democrat party has drifted so far left that Stalin's on the ticket, sadly, the Republicans have also followed the slide leftwards (yeah, just made that word up). So, it appears that we have two options: Socialists or Republicrats. I suppose you could vote for an independent, but lets be honest, you may as well light your ballot on fire or vote for Nader (he's running for something, right?). Either way you're throwing away a vote.

So what's a self respecting voter to do? I've heard people say that they're voting for "X" candidate to stick it to the candidate of their party. Guess it's their way of showing their displeasure. I'm not sure I follow the logic though. I'm not willing to screw myself for two to four years just to show my congressman/judge/councilman that I'm dissatisfied with his service. It's becoming more and more obvious to me as I get older that I'm voting for the platform more and more, and for the candidate less and less. Truth be told, politicians by nature are not to be trusted. They'll all sell you a bill of goods to get into office, then they'll do just enough to be re-elected. That's the system we have, and I don't see a radical shift in it coming any time soon (though it would be nice to automatically disqualify any political candidates that were lawyers at one time). The only thing a man can do is vote for what he believes in. As I stated above I'm in favor of smaller government and fewer taxes, on top of that I'm for a strong military, strong national security (namely at the borders), and for people pulling their own weight. Now the likelihood of electing a candidate that's going to mirror my beliefs completely is slim to none (probably because he'd be a Libertarian), so I've got to find one that's close...in this case, they'll be Republican. If I were in favor of Huge Government, exorbitant taxes, UN appeasement, nuclear Iran and N. Korea, and overall limp-wristedness I'd be looking for a Democratic candidate, because all the good communists have gone underground.

So there it is. That's the extent of my election coverage. Who's going to come out on top? Who knows. I know who I'm pulling for overall, but no one with any integrity can predict who will win. Let's just hope that if the "other" party wins that we're not all wearing burkas, speaking french, and standing in line at the grocery distribution center with our bread vouchers this time next year.

Semi-Quarterly Update

Hello all...as all three of you have noticed, I've not posted anything here for quite some time. I'd like to blame it on being busy, but lets face it, it can all be chalked up to straight up blogger laziness. At the prompting of Spacemonkey, I'm back baby...until the next four month hiatus.

Now that the niceties are out of the way, lets get down to business. But where to start? The Israeli/Hizbollah skirmish? The foiled terrorist plot? The three "Texans" caught with 1000 cell phones in Michigan? Let's start there, as I am a Texan, thus by the MSM's logic, I must be an expert on all things Texan. Here's something to remember: If you meet someone named Louai or Maraun Awad I can almost assuredly guarantee that they're not true Texans. Likewise, if you meet a Saudi Arabian that goes by the name Rupert, or Jimbo, he's probably not a true Saudi Arabian. In my experience, non-native Texans are not to be trusted. Some of the least trusted Texan transplants include, but are not limited to, the following:

1. "Texan" Pakistani's buying cell phones in Michigan.
2. "Texan" Sri Lankan's caught buying edible undergarments in Utah.
3. "Texan" Tongan warriors purchasing hair care products in Maine or Oregon.
4. "Texan" Irishmen buying anything but booze in any of the 48 contiguous states.
5. Oklahomans.

That covers the five least trusted anyways. That's not to say that all of the people in these demographics are not trustworthy, but if someone ever gives the statue of liberty a new hairstyle, I'm not looking for a true Texan...I'm looking for a Tongan. I don't want to sound intolerant, I'm just saying, if the shoe fits.

Ok then...that about wraps it up for now. I know I said "Lets start there", insinuating that I was going to cover all three topics I stated above...well I'm not. I've got better things to do...like trying to find a Sri Lankan selling some discount edible undergarments.

Diop it like it's hot.

Well, I had a late night. Game 7 of the Western Conference semi's, Mav's vs. Spurs, went into overtime...AND THE MAV'S TAKE THE SERIES. Mmmmm, Spurs fans, your tears are so sweet, let me gorge myself on your angst and broken spirits. The rivalry between the Mav's and the Spurs is well known, and up until this series the Mav's had come up on the short end of the stick. Though I would have liked the Mav's to close it out in game 5, but I understand why they didn't. They had to give the Spurs a glimmer of hope, bolster the hopes of the Spurs fan, only to crush them in game 7, in OVERTIME. Honestly though, this was one of the best playoff series that I've ever seen, namely because THE MAV'S WON. I don't really care if the Mav's win another game all year, hell, take next year off too. We beat the Spurs in a playoff series. It's a beautiful thing. Next up, the googly eyed canadian and the Phoenix Suns.

Golden Oldie

Not much to this post...just wanted to put up this short video clip. It's gold.

Spring Reconstruction

In the spirit of spring I've decided to give the Steaming bLog a bit of a makeover. Nothing too drastic...we're not changing formats or anything, it'll be just as right-wing, nut-jobish (word?) as ever. Just a change to the template, some added links to quality websites, and something new that I know everyone will be excited about: ADVERTISEMENTS!!! I know, I know, you're all saying "It's about time, now I can finally click wildly at random ad's while I'm reading the ramblings of a twenty-something genius!". And you'd all be right. They're more or less a bit of an experiment, and yes, I know, there's a banner ad that's jacked up, but it's not my fault, the HTML is flawless, got to be something else. So enjoy the new look of TSbL, tell your friends, your family, your ex-girlfriend, the creepy guy in the apartment next door that sits in his car smoking cigarrettes with the windows up, you know, everyone.

¿Los papeles? ¡Nosotros no necesitamos no papeles que huelen!

By now I'm sure you've all seen the "pro-immigration" rallies that have been popping up all over the country. I knew that as Americans we had the right to gather and protest (peacefully), but apparently our government extends that right to ILLEGAL NON-CITIZENS as well. What a great country we are.

Contrary to what the "pro-immigration" talking heads have been saying (or not saying respectively) just because a person is here with good intentions, and is here to work or raise a family or both, if they didn't follow the laws of our country to get here then they are in violation of that law. The sides have been drawn in this debate...you have the "pro-immigration" side; people for keeping the current, severely broken, system of unchecked illegal immigration (security and govermental strain be damned). Everyone who doesn't sign on to that school of thought will fall under the "racist" banner. I personally believe that most of America is pro-immigration, if those immigrants follow the law. What has these "pro-immigration" groups up in arms is the long overdue action (hopefully) of our government to stem the overwhelming flood of illegal movement across our borders. They don't want a wall. They don't want regulation. They DO want the government to "pardon" all of the illegals that are currently in our country and grant them citizenship. The "pro-immigrant" groups tell us that the illegals in this country pay taxes, that they work hard, and that they have as much of a right to be here as US citizens. I don't doubt that a large number of illegals do work hard and pound out a living. I do have serious doubts about what sort of taxes they're paying. Sure they pay sales tax, who doesn't? What about Social Security, Medicare/Medicaid, income tax, the list goes on and on. And so we come to one of the hot button issues: If you naturalize all of these illegals they'll have to pay taxes. So why wouldn't we? Here's why; these people have broken our laws. They didn't bend them, didn't accidentally break them, they knowingly came across the border illegally. If you pardon them, why not pardon rapists? What about drug dealers? I'm sure they'll pay more taxes out of jail than they do in jail. It's flat out wrong...Period. What sort of message would it send? "Come on in to the USA! Yeah you're breaking the law, but if you can hold out long enough they'll rubber stamp you and give you citizenship." No. No way.

Our government, as often times happens, has allowed itself to become embroiled in partisan bickering...thus delaying any action. So, I've put together an airtight plan for solving our problem:

• Secure the borders. Is a 20 foot tall fence stretching from Texas to California a viable option? Sadly, no, but we live in the age of technology for crying out loud. We can study the surface of Mars, you're telling me we can't watch our own border? How about cameras, electronic walls, and more border patrol agents.
  
• Penalize American companies that hire illegal workers. Not only is it illegal for someone to cross into our country undocumented, it's illegal to hire them. Tight fisted American business owners have perpetuated the problem, opting to hire cheap instead of legal. I've heard the argument that illegal immigrants do the work Americans don't want to do. What strikes me as funny is that most of the people saying that have never run the risk of starving, never had to worry about clothing their children. Some of our citizens do, and would gladly take the work. Americans have never shirked from hard, dirty, thankless labor. Give our citizens who are in need of work a chance to take these "undesirable" jobs.
• Deport those who are breaking our immigration laws. This is touchy, as many immigrants have started families here. I'm not for breaking apart families, so offer illegal immigrants with legal children the chance to become citizens. They've been breaking the law, let them pay a fine, and make a mends by learning our language and passing the tests required to be a citizen. For those illegal immigrants without a family, deport them to their country of origin and let them begin the process to become a legal citizen.
  

I understand that this country has deep roots in the Melting Pot mentality, "give me your tired, your weary"...and so forth, and I agree with that for the most part. The key is the "melting" part. If you want to be a member of this country you should become a part of it's society, not expect to keep all the aspects of your old society. I'm not saying that you should forget your heritage, far from it. Celebrate St. Patricks day, Cinco De Mayo, Boxing Day, whatever...just remember that you're a part of a whole, and that whole is American.

Bottom line is this: If you want to be a part of this country, do it legally or go home. So let the protestors protest, let the flags wave (notice that most of the flags went from Mexican to American? Guess someone got the memo) and the voices chant with the hopes that if you're loud enough and large enough our government will cave to your demands. That sort of mentality may be true in France, but not here, not in my America.

Oh yeah...almost forgot, click on the link to translate the title.

Catatonic Audience

Ah the movies. A place to get away from the mundane and humdrum events of day to day life and lose yourself in...commercials? As I may have mentioned before, I live in a small town. We have a theater that carries outdated movies. It's a given that when you go to the movies in my home town you'll be subjected to at least two antiquated concession stand plugs, followed by a veritable cornucopia of previews. All totaled, you're looking at about ten or fifteen minutes of fat until you get to the real meat, the movie you took out a mortgage to watch. This weekend though, I ventured out of the bubble that is my town and traveled to a larger city here in Texas. After a half day of hitting the guitar shops and electronic stores, my friend and I decided that we would catch a movie. This is the madness that followed:

We purchased our tickets, stood in line for drinks, and finally made it to our seats. We sat through the trivia...of which they only had four questions. "How many Coke bottles are in the picture?" Hmmm, let's see, it was 14 bottles the last twenty times, so I'm going with 6. We sat through the music, that generic blend of Prince, 98 Degrees, and Whitney Houston songs. Then, finally, the screen flickered and we were off...to a car commercial. Ok, I can live with this, now for the movie...no, a commercial for Coke. Ok, get a new car and drink Coke, got it, now how about that movie. No? Instead lets watch ANOTHER CAR COMMERCIAL. Rage growing...need...to...see...feature...presentation. NO? How about two consecutive Coke commercials?! (At this point I'm wondering how many levels of security there is between me and the acne riddled projectionist). Whew. Ok, the Dolby Digital spot, now it's time for the movie. NO?!! Son of a @$%#&! Previews? Well, they're not all that bad I guess. Three, four, five previews, enough is enough. Ah, the message telling me to turn off the cell phone and be polite...next up, the movie! Oh no. Please, no more. Two more previews. Ok Theater, you win. I'm broken, I just can't take it anymore. I don't even want to watch the movie, if you'll just let me sit here and sob, you can play whatever you want. I'll like it, I promise. But wait! Can it be? YES, it is! The movie! Oh thank you merciful theater!

By the time the dust had settled, I had watched almost forty five minutes of commercials and previews. Sadly, some of the patrons did not have my level of self control. Several were stabbed, others scalded with hot butter, and one poor soul cracked under the intense subliminal messaging and drowned himself in a Mega-Chug sized Coke. At what point did the sharks from the TV industry break in to the movie theater? I've conditioned myself to expect a barrage of mindless commercials while watching TV, I can even live with shameless product placement in the middle of the movie, however I will not stand (or sit, respectively) idly by while companies force me to watch their commercials, in a closed room, with no remote, and no way to escape (well, had I been sitting near the isle I guess I could have left). What really stewed me was when I realized that I'd paid good money to watch their commercials. I've already written a letter to my congressman. Unfortunately, it appears that he's been taken by the dark side. His reply stated "Drink Coke, Buy Toyota" and included a coupon for a dollar off of a two liter bottle of Diet Lemon Coke. Damn. I still have my hometown theater though, and judging by the delay in seeing new movies there, I've still got a good two years until they begin assailing me with commercials. I guess I'll just have to wait until the DVD's come out, that way I can sit through the Anti-Piracy/Actors Guild/FBI commercials and previews...on second thought, I'll wait until someone makes an illegal copy, cutting out the commercials and previews, then I'll watch.

Bring on the Detox Poncho

I've never done smack. Never had any ice, crank, crack, blow, white rabbit, mexican red-hair, angel dust, boom, pow, ex, or sweet lady H. All in all, I'm a pretty clean guy, don't have too many addictions. Apparently, I am addicted to that sweet southern cash crop otherwise known as tobacco. I've decided to quit. I've decided that at least five times before, but this time I mean it. I went and spent thirty bucks on a package of nicotine gum, threw out any tobacco products that might tempt me, and I've gone one solid day without my poison of choice. You never know how much you need it until it's gone. As the day progressed, I grew more and more tired. My stomach ached, my head pounded, my heart raced. If someone had come up to me and said "I'll give you some sweet sweet tobacco if you'll beat up that kindly old lady" I would have looked like Mike Tyson in a street fight. Wouldn't have fought fair either. It's almost nine o'clock, and it feels like I've been up for days. They say if you can go four days without it you're out of the woods. One day down, seventy two long, grueling hours to go. Problem is, I think I like the gum better now. Yeah. It's minty, it's fresh, and it supplies just enough nicotine to keep me on an even keel. No. NO. Must...fight...the...gum. I can't be sure, but I think tobacco companies make the gum. They have to. They're the sole supplier of nicotine, they hold all the cards. Oh it's a devious plan. Who would persecute someone with minty fresh breath and a mild buzz? No one, that's who. You can chew it virtually anywhere. School, work, with your girlfriend (if you have one), even, dare I say it, at church. Spanish III would have been quite a bit more enjoyable had I been chewing this wonder gum. Dammit. Listen to me. I knew I should have gotten the patch. I'm not exactly doing this thing cold turkey. I've got a four step phase out that seems to be working. It looks something like this:

1) Tobacco I like. (currently phased out)
2) Tobacco I don't like. (currently phasing out)
3) Gum that I love. (currently phasing in-expected use: 8-10 days)
4) Natures alternative wonder stimulant: Coffee/Caffeine (expected use: Several cups a day, forever).

Solid plan, I know. Though there have been mixed reviews on coffee in regards to it's health effects, I know several very old people who drink it by the gallons, so I'm pretty confident with it. For the most part, it's cheaper, and it's still allowed in most resturaunts (until the hippies have their way about it). So I'm on the road to recovery. I'm short tempered, tired, hungry, a little gassy, but for the most part I'm ok. Just have to follow the patented four step program and resist the urge to start random, completely uncalled for beatings and I'll be just fine. Consequently, should anyone see me involved in a completely uncalled for and random beating, speak to me in a soothing voice and get me some gum.

Buy stock in aluminum...

I've decided to post quarterly now...thus my two month long hiatus. That's not actually quarterly though, more like bi-quarterly. But I digress. Since my last post, several little events have occurred, but none so hotly disputed as the recent talk of wiretapping by the government to screen for terrorist activity. Not all calls are screened...only some of the calls going overseas. This fact has been conveniently omitted from most of the lefts talking points (surprised? didn't think so). It's all "illegal wiretaps" and "civil rights infringment". Rights smights. Who cares if some guy at the NSA is listening to your call? Screen every call for all I care. I don't recommend screening mine, as they may induce sleep, but they're more than welcome to. I've got nothing to hide. A normal conversation for me goes a little something like this:

ME: Hey.
Little Bro: Hey.
ME: What're you doing?
Little Bro: Nothing. What are YOU doing?
ME: Working. You?
Little Bro: Just got out of class, going to work.
ME: Well that sounds good.
Little Bro: Does it?
ME: Doesn't it?
Little Bro: Doesn't it not?
ME: That was a double negative.
Little Bro: Was it?
ME: Was it not?
Little Bro: Anyway...what did you want?
ME: I didn't want anything, you called me.
Little Bro: Huh. Oh, that crazy chick I dated...
ME: That narrows it down.
Little Bro: You know, the summer girl.
ME: No, but continue.
Little Bro: She just got engaged.
ME: Nice. Dodged that bullet. Good on you.
Little Bro: Exactly.
ME: Well ok then. Give me a call later.
Little Bro: Ok. I will.
ME: Stay clean.
Little Bro: You too. Later.

See how boring? I would be willing to bet that 99% of the calls that a normal person makes sound quite a bit like that. Baseless, pointless, and mind numbing. The only thing that makes it anything is the relationship. Some guy at the NSA doesn't care whether your wife wants you to pick up a can of green beans at the store on the way home. That's why they're NOT wiretapping everyone. If you're making a call to Pakistan to someone codenamed Ox Bolo Lincoln then yeah, that one is probably being listened in on. Otherwise, all of you tin-foil hat wearing hippies have nothing to worry about. They don't want to know about your new hemp shirt, or your review of the latest Phish album. Bottom line is this: If you have nothing to hide, then why should you care? They're not searching your closet, not giving you a body cavity search on your way to work...they're doing their job, protecting America from another attack. So if they do turn the dial to listen in on one of my conversations, I hope they get in on a good one (little note to the NSA, Fridays and Saturdays are when the wild drunken women call, those are worth hearing). Keep on keeping on. Until next time, stay clean.