Buy stock in aluminum...

I've decided to post quarterly now...thus my two month long hiatus. That's not actually quarterly though, more like bi-quarterly. But I digress. Since my last post, several little events have occurred, but none so hotly disputed as the recent talk of wiretapping by the government to screen for terrorist activity. Not all calls are screened...only some of the calls going overseas. This fact has been conveniently omitted from most of the lefts talking points (surprised? didn't think so). It's all "illegal wiretaps" and "civil rights infringment". Rights smights. Who cares if some guy at the NSA is listening to your call? Screen every call for all I care. I don't recommend screening mine, as they may induce sleep, but they're more than welcome to. I've got nothing to hide. A normal conversation for me goes a little something like this:

ME: Hey.
Little Bro: Hey.
ME: What're you doing?
Little Bro: Nothing. What are YOU doing?
ME: Working. You?
Little Bro: Just got out of class, going to work.
ME: Well that sounds good.
Little Bro: Does it?
ME: Doesn't it?
Little Bro: Doesn't it not?
ME: That was a double negative.
Little Bro: Was it?
ME: Was it not?
Little Bro: Anyway...what did you want?
ME: I didn't want anything, you called me.
Little Bro: Huh. Oh, that crazy chick I dated...
ME: That narrows it down.
Little Bro: You know, the summer girl.
ME: No, but continue.
Little Bro: She just got engaged.
ME: Nice. Dodged that bullet. Good on you.
Little Bro: Exactly.
ME: Well ok then. Give me a call later.
Little Bro: Ok. I will.
ME: Stay clean.
Little Bro: You too. Later.

See how boring? I would be willing to bet that 99% of the calls that a normal person makes sound quite a bit like that. Baseless, pointless, and mind numbing. The only thing that makes it anything is the relationship. Some guy at the NSA doesn't care whether your wife wants you to pick up a can of green beans at the store on the way home. That's why they're NOT wiretapping everyone. If you're making a call to Pakistan to someone codenamed Ox Bolo Lincoln then yeah, that one is probably being listened in on. Otherwise, all of you tin-foil hat wearing hippies have nothing to worry about. They don't want to know about your new hemp shirt, or your review of the latest Phish album. Bottom line is this: If you have nothing to hide, then why should you care? They're not searching your closet, not giving you a body cavity search on your way to work...they're doing their job, protecting America from another attack. So if they do turn the dial to listen in on one of my conversations, I hope they get in on a good one (little note to the NSA, Fridays and Saturdays are when the wild drunken women call, those are worth hearing). Keep on keeping on. Until next time, stay clean.