To: Britain, From: Iran

Dear Britain,

You are cordially invited to bomb our country into the stone age. I've been talking with the mullahs, and we're all pretty sure that you haven't been getting our hints. First they suggested that we call you and America "The Great Satan"...but that didn't even make headlines. So, we called up Kim Jong and bounced some ideas off of Khadafi, and we decided to go ahead and send some troops into Iraq to toilet paper the place. But we didn't have enough TP so we gave them RPG's instead (GOTCHA!!! LOL). We thought that'd really tweak your nipples, but all it got was some weak "don't do that now Iran" garbage at the U.N. Limey please. You can't front like that on us! So what's a midget tyrant to do? I talked with my shorties and they said "just grab up a bunch of them and put 'em on TV". I had her shot for knowing what a TV was, but after that I decided that it wasn't a bad idea. Long story short, yeah we've got your sailors. Were they trespassing, who knows? I'm sure they were doing something wrong, I think I heard that one of them was "smoking fags", which is WAY not cool unless you're in the desert and Ahmed just won't leave you al...nevermind. But it still doesn't seem like you're getting the message. So here it is...Bomb us. Bomb us good. We've got nukes! Well, OK, we don't have them yet, but if you don't bomb us we will for sure! Well, that is if our generals will quit defecting, but if that happens you'd better get ready for some hard core nuke action! Hope to see your planes soon.

XOXOXO

Sincerely,

Mahmoud Ackma...Acma...crap my name is hard to spell...forget it, The President of Iran.

P.S. Bring America too, I mean we really want a good, sound bombing here.
P.P.S. Syria is too shy to ask, but could you drop a couple on them too? Great!