Semi-Quarterly Update

Hello all...as all three of you have noticed, I've not posted anything here for quite some time. I'd like to blame it on being busy, but lets face it, it can all be chalked up to straight up blogger laziness. At the prompting of Spacemonkey, I'm back baby...until the next four month hiatus.

Now that the niceties are out of the way, lets get down to business. But where to start? The Israeli/Hizbollah skirmish? The foiled terrorist plot? The three "Texans" caught with 1000 cell phones in Michigan? Let's start there, as I am a Texan, thus by the MSM's logic, I must be an expert on all things Texan. Here's something to remember: If you meet someone named Louai or Maraun Awad I can almost assuredly guarantee that they're not true Texans. Likewise, if you meet a Saudi Arabian that goes by the name Rupert, or Jimbo, he's probably not a true Saudi Arabian. In my experience, non-native Texans are not to be trusted. Some of the least trusted Texan transplants include, but are not limited to, the following:

1. "Texan" Pakistani's buying cell phones in Michigan.
2. "Texan" Sri Lankan's caught buying edible undergarments in Utah.
3. "Texan" Tongan warriors purchasing hair care products in Maine or Oregon.
4. "Texan" Irishmen buying anything but booze in any of the 48 contiguous states.
5. Oklahomans.

That covers the five least trusted anyways. That's not to say that all of the people in these demographics are not trustworthy, but if someone ever gives the statue of liberty a new hairstyle, I'm not looking for a true Texan...I'm looking for a Tongan. I don't want to sound intolerant, I'm just saying, if the shoe fits.

Ok then...that about wraps it up for now. I know I said "Lets start there", insinuating that I was going to cover all three topics I stated above...well I'm not. I've got better things to do...like trying to find a Sri Lankan selling some discount edible undergarments.