If Crazy Had A Smell

Odd title. But it isn't quite complete. The full title should be "If crazy had a smell, one classroom at Colorado University would be the most odiferous place on planet Earth." For those of you that don't catch the news regularly there's a "Professor" at CU named Ward Churchill that has made quite a few controversial statements about the attacks on 9/11. Stating that the people who perished during those heinous attacks were "little Nazi's", for instance. That's just the beginning, I can't post it all, lest I be infected by the raving lunacy he's spouted. He's part of an American Indian movement, but I'm not sure that's relevant to this post. I sat tonight, flipping through the channels, until I came to C-SPAN. Evidently they've decided to deviate from their normally riveting coverage of city council meetings and British parliamentary proceedings to air Mr. Churchill's latest load of steaming insanity. I sat and listened to about thirty minutes of it. The topics ranged from the "crooked" purchase of Manhattan Island from the American Indians to the current situation in Iraq. According to what I gathered (I didn't pick it all up, I don't speak crazy as well as I used to) Anglo's living in North American from 1776 to present are single-handedly responsible for any and all violence in the world. If we weren't physically in a war with someone, we supplied weapons for it, or sanctions. Now, I don't know about Americans prior to 1982, I wasn't here, I can't vouch for them, but I'm certain that I've never killed anyone from overseas, and I've never provided anyone with weapons. I tried sanctioning Belgium at one time, but gave up soon after (their waffles are too damn tasty). His philosophy is that every American is guilty of something. Why? We pay taxes. That's right, you and I pay taxes. By paying taxes we're enabling the government (evidently he's never paid taxes, not sure how he pulled that off). Now I'm not going to get into what our tax dollars do for us, law enforcement and highways are a couple, but when I Uncle Sam takes his cut from my check I don't think he's turning it around and pouring it into the "Napalm Everyone But Us" foundation. I sat and listened to him basically state that during World War II we were the only country that killed anyone. Yep, that's us, the Germans and Japanese occupied all those other countries with only the dreaded Wet-Willy and the feared Atomic Wedgie, no killing for them. Oh, and Iraq? Why our sanctions caused countless deaths in the 90's. Wasn't Saddam's fault, he was sanctioned dammit! He had to scrounge every penny to air condition his numerous palaces and keep the vending machines in his torture chambers stocked. Once I heard his spill I realized that I'd been missing out. Everyone else in America has been wrecking havoc all over the world...What have I done? Feeling left out I found the nearest cat and punted it across the street, nobody's going to say I'm not doing my part. All joking aside, this guy is for real. I drew blood pinching myself during his speech, trying desperately to wake up. No such luck. I know we have "Free Speech" in America, that it's one of our inalienable rights, but can't we make an exception? Just this once. Or maybe deport him. He seems to be a big fan of the rest of the world, give him a one way ticket to anywhere but here and let him peddle crazy somewhere else. Sadly enough, he had an audience. Sadder still is that they clapped for him. This means that there are other idiots of his caliber roaming the streets somewhere, beating some poor, unsuspecting soul down with the same nonsense. So if someone, other than the usual Democrat or Green party affiliate, comes up to you and tells you that America is the source of all the worlds ills, just back away slowly and contact your nearest Republican for de-crazification.

Armchair Quarterbacks

The election is over. It has been for some time now. I watch the "news" on television, read up on events via the internet, and I'm certain that the election is, in fact, over. Yet for some reason or another the whines and moans from the left seem to be getting louder rather than softer. Seems to me that they had their chance, three and a half years of chances, but they lost. Plain and simple. Blame it on the voter turnout, blame it on the same sex marriage issue, blame it on the Red Sox winning the Pennant if you like, the fact of the matter is that they lost (and their candidate CONCEDED DEFEAT). When/if there is a Democratic candidate elected president you can bet I'll voice some concerns, most Republicans would, but any whining three or four months after the fact just seems....well...girly. Roll with the punches for crying out loud. When your favorite team loses the championship they don't whine about it for the rest of the off-season, they go out and sign some recruits, work a little harder in practice, find a quarterback that doesn't look like Herman Munster and prepare for the next game. I'd like to see more of that. Whether you're a right wing nut or a left wing hippie we're all Americans in the end, it's just not in our nature to take losing well. Just know this; a commentator never won a Superbowl for their team, a cheerleader never hit the game-winning home run, and a whiner never won an election.

Only When You're in a Hurry

We're living in the 21st century. A century full of technological advancements that boggle the mind. People from opposite ends of the world can talk over the internet instantly. We've visited the moon multiple times, and we're looking to visit Mars. Advancements in medicine have lengthened the average life expectancy by decades. That being said, I still manage to get behind someone on the road going 10 miles an hour. Motor vehicles have been around since the 20's, so it's not like driving is something new. It's not difficult either. You get in, start it, put it in gear, then stay under 100 mph and between the mailboxes while avoiding other traffic. It's just that simple. Yet, amazingly enough, there are still those who don't feel "comfortable" driving the speed limit. Here's a thought; if you don't feel comfortable going 40 in a 45, catch the bus. What strikes me as the greatest irony of all though is that you would think the longer you've been driving the faster you'd drive. Wrong. Why is it that a 16 year old can drive the speed limit after driving for 2 months, while the person who's been driving for 50 years needs to drive 30 on the highway? It's a beating, pure and simple. I reached boiling point this morning. I found myself driving to work with 10 minutes to spare. It takes roughly 2 minutes to make it from my house to my office. I have ample time to stop for breakfast, right? I pulled onto main street and made my way to the donut shop. It begins. I get behind two people (taking up both lanes) going 20 in a 45. I ignore this as best I can and roll into the drive through. 6 minutes later the Suburban in front of me finally receives every donut on the shelf and pulls out, only to stop a half car-length later, effectively blocking the drive through window. They're checking to make sure that they got all 34 dozen donut holes. My rage-O-meter begins to peg out. I finally make my order and hit the road, running very short on time. Then it happens. A Buick in one lane, the donut ravaging Suburban in the other, both driving 17 miles per hour. I start to see red, the few muscles I have begin to twitch, the vein in my forehead begins to throb, one hand slides to the horn, the other prepares to let fly with the bird of expression. It's 7:32, I'm officially late. I eye the turning lane, then the shoulder, contemplating a pass, then decide against it. Surely one of them must be turning soon....surely. Negative. Both drive all the way to my office and beyond. I pull in, collect myself, and open the door. Friends, neighbors, countrymen I emplore you, something must be done. There must be a way. Cars have governors to keep them from driving faster than 100 or so miles per hour, why not a low speed governor? Why not a shock collar that activates when you drop 10 miles below the speed limit? Ever watch the movie "Speed"? Come on people, if we pull together and stand united we can win the fight against the slowinization of America. Work with me here.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year?

Well it's that time again. Christmas. It seems to start earlier every year. I'm not a very patient person; slow traffic upsets me, slow computers upset me, and ten mile long slow checkout lines enrage me. There's at least 15 check-out lanes in most large stores, yet for some reason at least five of them are closed during the holidays. It doesn't make any sense....or does it? Think about it for a second. You're standing in line with a cart full of items, five minutes pass, then ten, then you see something that someone else is buying and you want that, or you remember someone else you have to shop for and you step out of line to do that. It all makes perfect business sense, the longer you're in line, the more you'll buy. You might say to yourself "I won't wait 20 minutes in any line, I'll shop somewhere else." Will you? Where? Every store in America is packed to the brim with people. They've got you by the preverbial cojones. I suppose it's all worth it though...I mean, if you don't stand in line to buy gifts, you wimp out and buy everyone underwear and socks with a nice card, what do you think you'll be getting next year? It's a vicious cycle, but in the end, when you're sitting next to the tree trying to assemble something (with instructions in French and Taiwanese only) you can be sure the 15 hours waiting in line weren't a complete waste of time. Then you have eleven months (or ten if the trend continues) to recouperate. Oh, and if you were planning on buying me underwear and socks for Christmas this year, save the money, I've got three pairs of both, that should last me another two or three years.

Beauty of Open Source

What are you surfing the web on right now? No, not the brand of PC, not the connection...the browser, what are you using? I'd lay 10-1 odds that you're running Microsoft Internet Explorer. 90% of all PC users run Internet Explorer. Everyone knows it...and hackers certainly know it. IE has been the target of every hacker under the sun. There have been options though; Netscape and Mozilla to name a couple. Now another option has been released...Firefox by Mozilla. It promises to rock the web browsing world. How? Well I'm glad you asked. First off, it's infinitely customizeable (I think that's a word). You can change the theme of your browser as you would a media player, there are multiple skins just waiting for download. You can add multiple extentions (such as the FoxyTunes utility, which allows you to control all of your media players from your browser, no more minimizing and maximizing to change the volume or song). Not to mention the fact that it runs faster than IE or Netscape. These are just a few examples, there are many that I haven't had the opportunity to delve into. So, lets break it down...limited hackability, infinite options, and faster speed...any questions? Good. Now, get out your wallet and be prepared to pay the monumental cost of $0.00. Thats right, it's free. All of it. The plug-ins, extentions, themes, all of it. So now you have no excuse, just go and get it. You'll be downloading the bare-bones version of Firefox, but you can add any of the goodies through Firefox's website or by searching the net. Since it's an Open Source program, there will be hundreds and hundreds of new add-ons flooding the web, so if you get bored with it, change it. Just go get it, you know you want to.

http://www.mozilla.org/products/firefox/

Duh, what's an election?

In watching the news over the weekend I couldn't help but hear underhanded comments and excuses. The comments mostly centered around how different the "Red States" were. That everyone in the Red shopped at Wal-Mart, toted a firearm in one hand and a Bible in the other, and didn't understand the in's and out's of politics. There were even comments about the Blue states leaving the union. I'm amazed at the loads of media dung being unloaded on the nation. I live in Texas. I own several guns. I go to Church. I even shop at Wal-Mart. Amazingly enough I have the common sense to put on a coat when its cold, and take it off when it's warm. Contrary to popular [yankee] belief, not everyone living in the south is a "redneck", not everyone carrys a weapon, not everyone goes to Church, not everyone shops at.....ok, scratch that, everyone shops at Wal-Mart. It just makes sense, but that's another story. If the liberal media wants to believe that everyone in the south is out of touch, that everyone here disregards fact in favor of faith, that we're all inferior to the mighty blue states.....let them. The left speaks of faith as if it were a virus, yet it's that faith that built the foundation of our country. They attack the right to bear arms, but fervently defend the first amendment (An idiot with a podium and an audience is just as dangerous, if not more so, than and idiot with a firearm). They view our bargain shopping as low class, yet how could anyone pass up 500 Q-Tips for 99 cents? They couldn't. The saddest part of all of this is that they honestly believe all of these things...and they wonder why they lost this election? All the excuses amount to this...they lost, but they won't admit that they lost this election because their views are not that of the majority of America. Try as they might, they just couldn't convince the slow "rednecks" that their plan (or lack thereof) was better. To be honest, I don't want to worry about politics for another three years. It's just such a beating. I just want to go fishing, shoot my guns wildly in the air, drink moonshine, go to church, and go buy discount socks at Wal-Mart....is that too much to ask?

Then there was......

Nothing. Well, not necessarily nothing, but nothing of political importance to expound on (though the whines of the left are still very audible...that too will pass soon enough). It does seem that some of the main stream media outlets have softened on the political scene. Yesterday while listening to the news it actually sound like the reporter was happy Bush was re-elected...unfortunately that came a little too late. The media's very obvious left wing slant during the election has all but dashed the Red state's (Republican majority) confidence in them, all the brown nosing in the world can't change that. I'd like to think that this may cause the MSM to return to the middle of the road, and I believe that if we only had ABC/NBC/CBS to choose from (no internet, no CNN/FOXNEWS/MSNBC) they would return to the middle, only because America would require it. It's obvious now that conservatism isn't limited to the south, and the numbers are rising. Media is a business, and if they don't start selling what everyones buying they'll be out of business. At least we have several different media flavors to choose from (I still haven't decided whether that's good or bad, as the news should be un-biased either way), if you lean left, watch CNN. Like right? Fox News for you. Either way, we'll get to see it play out over the next four years. So the political scene is slowing down...what's left to rant about? NHL Lockout anyone? Have a great weekend--