An Inconcludent Truth, er, Theory, no, uh, Pant-load. Yeah, that's the ticket.

I'm sure you all know by now that the all knowing, all seeing, all eating Al Gore won an Oscar for his documentary "An Inconvenient Truth". The premise of this Oscar winning film is that THE WORLD IS GOING TO END, AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT. Let me quantify that. The world is going to end because of global warming, and because you drove to work today in a vehicle that doesn't burn hair clippings from your local barbershop, but burns petroleum products instead, it's your fault.

I can appreciate the fact that Al has too much time and money on his hands and that, mixed with his need to be in the spotlight yet again, he needed to make this film. What I can't understand is the fact that seemingly intelligent people actually buy in to this thing. His contention that humans are primarily responsible for global warming is not a fact. I repeat: Is. Not. A. Fact. It's a theory. I've got a theory that says that I'll eventually marry a Hooters girl with a PhD, should I crank out a film on it? Maybe if I convince the UN and every other government in the world to throw billions of dollars into my theory it'll get some play. If Al Gore, a man who has absolutely zero scientific background, can stir up such a crap-storm maybe I can as well. I'm just as unqualified as he is. But I digress. My point here is that it's a theory. A theory that several people have been shooting holes in for a decade. What holes you say? Well I'm not surprised that you haven't heard them. Which title would you expect to hear on the evening news:

"World ending shortly because of Global Warming"

or

"World in another warming trend"

Probably the first. It makes for better news. People couldn't care less that the worlds temperature has increased by .0029 degrees over the past few years (and yes I know that's not the actual number). But if you tell people that the world is going to end, well, people might accidentally tune in to Katie Couric to hear that...maybe.

Another theory, and yes it is a theory, is that global climate change is brought on by sunspots primarily, not "greenhouse gases." The sun is hot. Sunspots are hotter. Seems to make sense that if there are more sunspots, more radiation will reach the Earth, thus heating it. Now, this is not a one time occurrence, this "global warming". It happened 8000 years ago, and it's been happening off and on since then. It just so happens that this also corresponds with the sunspot data that we have. If Al Gore's theory is sound that would imply that Hummers and Suburbans were cruising around in 6000 B.C. See if this makes sense to you:

Sun is hot.
Sunspots are hotter.
More Sunspots = More radiation
More radiation = more heat
More heat = global climate change

Makes sense to me. The fact that it's happened before, and that ocean levels have been steadily rising for hundreds of years, I'm more apt to believe the sunspot theory. While we're on the ocean thing let's discuss this as well. We're being told that due to "global warming" we're all going to end up drowning because the polar ice caps are going to melt. Hmmm. Let me ask you this question: When you drive through McDonalds in your Prius and order a large Hi-C, put it in your cup holder, then leave it in the car while you shop for hemp shirts, do you come back to the vehicle and find that your cup has overflowed? No? Well all the ice melted didn't it? Ice displaces the same amount of liquid as water does. So, when your ice cube melts, the cup doesn't overflow, the volume of liquid stays the same. I'm not saying that if all the ice melted that the ocean levels wouldn't rise...but most of the polar ice caps are already in the ocean.

Anyway. I felt that I needed to tell all two of you this. Now go and do something productive.