"I'm, like, a total non-conformist...turn on the Mtv"

It happened sooner than I thought. Can't say I didn't see it coming, it's been a slow going process. I've grown jaded. No doubt about it. As I sat in my hotel last week, bored, I flipped on the TV. Unfortunately I've got 17 channels to choose from, two Mtv's, a VH1, as well as the standard assortment of local channels. I'm 22, plenty young enough to watch a little Mtv. I dial it in and kick back. Immediately something catches my eye, some guy standing there in an Anarchy t-shirt. This started a late night think tank in my Holiday Inn Express hotel room. Define Irony: A teenage boy wearing an Anarchy t-shirt on the channel that touts it's "non-conformity"stance, all the while causing hundreds of thousands of kids to conform to their non-conformist way of thinking. Confused? Stay with me on this. Picture young Jimmy. He's a skater that listens to Green Day, thinks Che Guevarra was an anarchist (he wasn't, he was communist), and wears his black anarchist shirt to stick it to the man. He's a self proclaimed non-conformist, yet by listening to Green Day and wearing his Anarchy shirt he's conformed on oh so many levels (I didn't forget the Che Guevarra thing...anyone who wears a shirt without knowing whats on it and what it stands for is an idiot, but thats another story). The problem is that human beings are almost completely incapable of being non-conformist. We want to conform, we need to conform...because we need to belong to something. Some join a bowling league, some join a book club, some claim to be non-conformists. I don't really have a beef with them I suppose, though I disagree with everything they believe (the whole "let man govern himself, we don't need no stinkin government" thing...yeah right), I guess I just wish they would call themselves the name they used to go by...Punk. Thats right, anyone who lived in the late eighties/early nineties knows what I'm talking about. Anyone who listened to Rancid was Punk. They didn't have Che Guevarra T-shirts, they just thought that by dressing like cadavers and putting metal studs where they don't belong they could be different, and they were. Then they tried to apply some sort of message or mission statement with it, and it all went down the toilet. I think my point is this, if you really want to be a "non-conformist" don't wear an anarchy t-shirt, in fact, don't wear a shirt at all. Shave your head and tatoo a big L on it, wear a kilt, paint your toenails hunter orange, and listen to Perry Como. I'll bet everything I own that there won't be another person like you on this earth. Don't want to do that? Then quit with the "I'm so different, look at me" bull. It's ok to be different, most of the time, but you nullify your non-conformist stance by wanting people to look at you. I think that about does it. I'm not sure it all makes sense, sort of came out like a stream of consciousness. Any questions can be forwarded to the "Adopt a washed up hippie/confused non-conformist Foundation (AWUHCNCF for short). Until next time...